I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Your tits are I can't wait for
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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