Already got asked if we're dating
Soap is not a condiment
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you win again, gameday.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
