I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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