Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
