I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
