Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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