is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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