sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Let's get the cat blown out
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize