What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
