Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
