YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
