and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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