I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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