Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
