found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
