Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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