dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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