I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
