I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
