You just made me feel so damn special
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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