i permit you to call me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
