mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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