I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
