you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
