No stitches, just platelets and will power
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
