is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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