did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
