You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
