people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
