Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
