How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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