Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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