porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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