ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
