and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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