It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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