Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
