Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize