you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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