i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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