"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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