my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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