My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize