Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i love accidental penises.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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