I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
