dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You can't special order awesome
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize