Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
