You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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