Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
