addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
