The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
