I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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