Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
