My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
