You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
