How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
