I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
