That's when you crack a 10am beer
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it's like iHOP with fire
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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