That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm passing your future prison.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
