What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
