There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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