i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
