the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
