wakey wakey hands off snakey
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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