ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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