Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
