like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
