that's an acceptable place to lick
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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