No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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