Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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