You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
