I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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