It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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