i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
