I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I AM VODKA MAN
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
