Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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