do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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