Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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