Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
