oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize